1 00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:04,614 Morning, dietrich. 2 00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:06,115 Hey, carl, how you feeling? 3 00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:07,950 Oh, everything's going okay... 4 00:00:07,974 --> 00:00:11,521 Except the cold weather Gives me an occasional twinge. 5 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:14,224 Hey, guess what the Name of that bone is. 6 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:15,725 The humerus. 7 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,093 Right. 8 00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:19,763 What a guess. 9 00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:21,030 Levitt? 10 00:00:21,054 --> 00:00:22,098 Morning, sir. 11 00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:23,867 What are you doing here? 12 00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:26,035 Oh, just trying to do my bit. 13 00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:28,204 Levitt, I admire Your dedication, 14 00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:30,173 But you were injured In the line of duty, 15 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,207 And you're not due back 16 00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:33,009 Until the department Doctor says so. 17 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,145 The doctor said It was up to me, sir. 18 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,647 I told him I preferred To stay on the line 19 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,749 With you and the Rest of my buddies. 20 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:45,221 That's very... Warm of you, levitt. 21 00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:47,023 Thank you, sir. 22 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,314 Sir. 23 00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:56,732 Hi, barney. 24 00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:58,868 Harris. 25 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:02,005 I am really sorry. 26 00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:03,840 I, uh... 27 00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:07,077 I stopped off at This art gallery. 28 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:10,846 Barn, I had to pick This up or lose it. 29 00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:13,216 Harris, we're gonna have To talk about priorities. 30 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,852 You're absolutely right, barn. 31 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:17,220 I'm really sorry. 32 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:20,156 And I would like to Take just this one minute 33 00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:22,692 To apologize to Everyone who's here. 34 00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,261 All right, harris. 35 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:26,929 Barn, it'll never happen Again. All right, all right. 36 00:01:26,953 --> 00:01:29,933 Barney, if you could Spare just one more minute 37 00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:32,302 I... I'd really like You to see this. 38 00:01:32,326 --> 00:01:34,859 All right. 39 00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:41,878 Wait, wait. Don't Look. Don't look. 40 00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:44,847 If you're gonna look at this... 41 00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:47,984 You've got to See it in exactly... 42 00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:50,608 The right light. 43 00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:04,767 It's interesting. 44 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:05,802 Isn't it? 45 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:06,936 What is it? 46 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,338 It's a catt. 47 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:13,009 Where's the head, The tail, and the body? 48 00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:16,713 That's the artist's Name... Andrew catt. 49 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:20,817 He just signs himself "A. Catt"... Double "T." 50 00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:27,090 This print is called, Simply, "Opus 64." 51 00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:29,893 But what is it? 52 00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:32,562 It's an opus 64. 53 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,864 You remember what Nietzsche said, carl. 54 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:36,866 "Art has no need of certainty." 55 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,267 The artist may have felt 56 00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:40,703 That the cat had Been there and gone. 57 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,939 A cat has nothing to do with it. 58 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:45,041 That's just the artist's name. 59 00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:46,309 Yeah, I heard you. 60 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,645 I was just thinking that, uh... 61 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:52,215 Could have been a self-portrait Of a. Catt, the artist... 62 00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:54,606 After he'd been there and gone. 63 00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:59,789 Barney, what do you think? 64 00:03:01,614 --> 00:03:03,692 Well, uh... 65 00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:05,594 Honestly, I'm not Much of a connoisseur, 66 00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:08,064 And I'm not at all familiar With the works of andrew catt. 67 00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:10,734 Well, I wasn't, either. 68 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:12,724 It just, uh... Caught my eye. 69 00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,471 Of course, the dealer did say 70 00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:17,506 That if I bought an Andrew catt today, 71 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:20,276 I could double my Money tomorrow. 72 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,710 He's that new? 73 00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:23,646 No, no, no. He's that old. 74 00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:26,216 88, to be exact. He had A coronary last night. 75 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,484 They say he doesn't Stand a chance. 76 00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:30,654 I see. 77 00:03:30,678 --> 00:03:32,889 If he dies, his works will Be that much more valuable. 78 00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:36,025 Probably. 79 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,894 Good luck. 80 00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:41,064 Thanks. 81 00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:43,599 All right, we'll send Somebody there right away. 82 00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:45,902 Captain, domestic Quarrel, husband and wife. 83 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,037 Violent consummation, Assault and battery. 84 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,105 Harris. 85 00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,206 Sir. 86 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,541 You and dietrich. 87 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:53,977 Get right on it. 88 00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:56,980 You know, you may Have something. 89 00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,815 A collector could Make a good thing 90 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,750 Checking the obituaries For dead artists 91 00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,252 And buying up all their stuff. 92 00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:05,188 Could be. 93 00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:07,190 I remember there Was an artist in the '60s, 94 00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:08,892 Guy named schroeder. 95 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:12,061 Work used to go for Peanuts. He died in '76. 96 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,596 Yeah? 97 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,933 What's, uh... What's a Schroeder worth now? 98 00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:19,735 Peanuts. Then Why'd you bring it up? 99 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,504 Just seemed apropos. 100 00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:24,941 Look, man, I am a Collector, not a vulture. 101 00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:28,945 I bought this picture Because I like this picture. 102 00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:33,171 And if this old geezer lives, Then that's just his damn luck. 103 00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,757 Okay. 104 00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,525 Right over here, mr. Koepeknie. 105 00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:51,427 I've got nothing to say. 106 00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:53,830 Well, that's your privilege. 107 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,365 But we're gonna Need some information. 108 00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:58,556 I just want to die. 109 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,605 Sit down and Relax, mr. Koepeknie. 110 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:05,608 Breaking a window's Not a capital offense. 111 00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:12,115 What the hell was that? 112 00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,150 What? 113 00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,141 That noise that you... 114 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,358 You been in here Before, mr. Koepeknie? 115 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,028 Yeah. 116 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:31,667 About, uh... Five years ago? 117 00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:34,237 Yeah. 118 00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,305 You thought you were a werewolf. 119 00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:40,109 Yeah. 120 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,311 We sent you to bellevue, yeah? 121 00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:43,880 - yeah. - so... 122 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:47,483 So they cured me. I'm Not a werewolf anymore. 123 00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:55,458 Then what was that little growl? 124 00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:58,261 The demon. 125 00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,463 What demon? 126 00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:03,967 I'm possessed! 127 00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,501 Wojo, really! 128 00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:06,969 Yeah, yeah, I know, Barn, but, listen, 129 00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,538 I was window-shopping at Siegels department store, 130 00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:15,144 And mr. Koepeknie here threw a Garbage can through the window. 131 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:17,402 You remember mr. Koepeknie? 132 00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,549 He looks familiar. 133 00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:22,285 Yeah, stefan koepeknie. 134 00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:24,020 Stefan... Right. What, uh... 135 00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,788 About five years ago. 136 00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:29,447 He, uh... Thought He was a werewolf. 137 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,365 Now he says he's Possessed by a demon. 138 00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,034 It's true. 139 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,525 I am. 140 00:07:45,232 --> 00:07:47,165 - harris. - barney. 141 00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:53,716 Something going down? 142 00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:55,974 Something coming up. 143 00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:06,662 Don't rush me. 144 00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:09,465 Mrs. Griswold. 145 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,833 Captain miller. 146 00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:12,401 This is our battered wife? 147 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:14,959 It's a battered Husband this time. 148 00:08:16,063 --> 00:08:17,740 I'm not hurt, captain. 149 00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:19,430 It's these tight jeans. 150 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:23,212 If you pardon my asking, What are you wearing them for? 151 00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,648 To please roy. He Gave them to me. 152 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:28,340 You don't think I'd buy These for myself, do you? 153 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,589 Roy griswold is on his way Down to sign a complaint. 154 00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:35,624 He needed a few stitches. 155 00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:38,616 I put a dent in his fat Head with my coffee mug. 156 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,531 It said "Cynthia" on it. 157 00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:44,000 Oh? 158 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,957 My name is norma. 159 00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,205 Cynthia's his first wife. 160 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,907 He's always comparing Us, talking about her. 161 00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:55,110 He even put a picture Of her in our bedroom. 162 00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:56,845 She was wearing tight jeans. 163 00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:58,081 She had the figure for it, too. 164 00:08:58,105 --> 00:09:00,649 So did I when I was 12. 165 00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:02,018 That coffee mug this morning... 166 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,453 That was the last straw. 167 00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:06,122 I asked him to buy me one. 168 00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:08,624 He puts her name on it. 169 00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:11,260 Oh, god. 170 00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:14,563 I can't even pace Angry in these! 171 00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:16,032 Harris, you should Have let her change. 172 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,324 But she insisted that you See what provoked the attack. 173 00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:26,009 Mrs. Griswold, I'm afraid There is no such thing 174 00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,411 As justifiable assault. 175 00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:29,612 You don't know roy. 176 00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:32,281 Well, that'll be up To a judge to decide. 177 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,850 Sergeant harris is Gonna have to book you. 178 00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:36,786 It was worth it. 179 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,909 Won't you sit down? 180 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,427 You've got to be kidding. 181 00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:47,796 Uh... Mrs. Griswold can stand. 182 00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:49,754 Stitch in time... 183 00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:54,937 Mrs. Griswold, Would you like to, uh... 184 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:58,674 Why don't... Just stand Right over here, please? 185 00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:00,076 Thank you. 186 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,108 Getting it all down, barn. 187 00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:16,125 Was that a growl? 188 00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:17,893 Yeah. 189 00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:20,651 Uh, mr. Koepeknie? This Is sergeant dietrich. 190 00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:24,289 He believes he's possessed. 191 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,171 How come? 192 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:31,807 I fell asleep in the Subway last night. 193 00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:33,609 I was alone in the car. 194 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,678 You're lucky. 195 00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:40,149 And then, suddenly I smelled sulphur. 196 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:43,040 And then I realized I Wasn't alone in the car. 197 00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:47,512 Someone was sitting next to me. 198 00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:54,363 Malevolent eyes, Foul smelling... 199 00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,365 Evil incarnate. 200 00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:58,890 There's a lot of people Like that on the subway. 201 00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:03,005 He told me his Name was "Belial." 202 00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:05,842 He put the evil eye on me. 203 00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,109 He said that, from now on, 204 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:09,812 My soul belonged to the devil. 205 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:14,550 That the demon inside of Me would never let it escape. 206 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:17,441 That I was to destroy Everything good, 207 00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:23,660 Everything beautiful, Everything sacred. 208 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:26,462 Mail call. 209 00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:29,431 Pleased to still be of service, Even though I'm off duty. 210 00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:30,933 - sergeant harris. - thank you. 211 00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:33,803 Sergeant dietrich. Looks like Some early christmas cards. 212 00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,437 Christmas? 213 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:41,410 Silent night, holy night! 214 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:43,545 Peace on earth! 215 00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:46,282 Garbage! 216 00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:47,750 All right, all right! 217 00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:49,485 I'm gonna call the fbi! 218 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:51,754 Destroying u.S. Mail Is a federal offense! 219 00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:53,589 It's all right, carl. 220 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,557 The devil made him do it. 221 00:11:55,581 --> 00:11:56,926 What? 222 00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:59,061 I'm gonna put you in the Cage now, mr. Koepeknie. 223 00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:01,030 Come on. 224 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,731 What got into him? 225 00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:04,755 Not what... Who. 226 00:12:06,792 --> 00:12:08,604 What a mess. 227 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,606 What was that racket out there? 228 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,909 It's koepeknie. 229 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:16,378 He, uh... He's Flipping out again. 230 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,947 He's going in the cage now. 231 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,316 Why do they turn Sick people loose? 232 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,885 We just have to Ship them right back. 233 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,587 Well, I'll, uh... I'll call bellevue. 234 00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:26,788 No, wait, wait. 235 00:12:26,812 --> 00:12:28,257 He doesn't want to Go back to the hospital. 236 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:30,392 He wants to be Exorcised by a priest. 237 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,161 Wonderful. 238 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,696 What is happening with this guy? 239 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,465 Wojo, I don't know. It's None of our business. 240 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:37,767 Turn it over to bellevue. 241 00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:40,036 This guy is not unique. 242 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,271 Virtually every known Culture has attributed 243 00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:44,573 This type of antisocial behavior 244 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,977 To the invasion of the Body by powerful demons. 245 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,378 'course, I don't Have to tell you that. 246 00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:51,369 No. I saw the movie too. 247 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,316 Is the store pressing charges? 248 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,852 Uh, yeah. But, barn. 249 00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:58,720 He didn't steal anything. 250 00:12:58,744 --> 00:13:02,413 The window he broke Was the nativity scene. 251 00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:04,960 Interesting choice, for somebody 252 00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:06,984 Who thinks he's an Agent of the devil. 253 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,432 Dietrich... 254 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:13,436 And he says there's This other guy involved... 255 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,803 A guy named belial. 256 00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:16,038 Belial? 257 00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:21,176 Belial, alias abaddon, Beelzebub, lucifer, 258 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:24,313 Mephistopheles, satan, old nick. 259 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:27,249 Dietrich, no judge is Gonna buy possession 260 00:13:27,273 --> 00:13:28,584 As a line of defense. 261 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:32,421 Well, it was just used in a Connecticut murder case. 262 00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:33,656 Really? 263 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,357 You know what they say, barn. 264 00:13:35,381 --> 00:13:37,381 Possession is 9/10 of the law. 265 00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:40,062 Excuse me. 266 00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:41,263 By all means. 267 00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:52,797 Excuse me. 268 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,483 Yours? 269 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:04,041 Uh... Yes. 270 00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,322 You a painter? 271 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:08,491 No, ma'am. 272 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,481 I'm a writer. 273 00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:13,896 What's it say? 274 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,432 I didn't write this, ma'am, 275 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:20,102 A painter painted it. 276 00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:22,305 Looks kind of scribbly. 277 00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:26,442 Uh, it's a pen-and-ink Abstraction, ma'am. 278 00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:30,768 You don't say. 279 00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,784 May I use the bathroom? 280 00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:38,843 Oh, certainly, ma'am. It's right back there. 281 00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:46,729 It may take a while. 282 00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:49,019 Oh, I understand. 283 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,470 Thank you. 284 00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,561 Take your time. 285 00:14:57,697 --> 00:14:59,964 Mr. Koepeknie. 286 00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,145 Oh, hello, captain. 287 00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:05,681 Mr. Koepeknie, remember We helped you last time? 288 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,983 Oh, yes, sir. 289 00:15:08,007 --> 00:15:10,619 We'd like to help you again. 290 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:12,788 Bellevue? 291 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,657 Yeah. 292 00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:17,259 I'm not going back there. Come on, mr. Koepeknie. 293 00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:20,028 This is beyond their power, And it is beyond my power. 294 00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:21,263 It's beyond your power! 295 00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:23,198 This is beyond any Power on earth! 296 00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:24,367 Aah! 297 00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:27,770 Mr. Koepeknie, you Need medical attention. 298 00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,104 I want a priest! 299 00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:31,874 I want this demon Torn out of me! 300 00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:33,175 Get me a priest. 301 00:15:33,199 --> 00:15:35,844 Get me a priest! Oh, My god, get me a priest! 302 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,146 Mr. Koepeknie! 303 00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,947 Wojo, get on the Phone, will you? 304 00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:41,016 Koepeknie: I want a priest! 305 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,685 Get me a priest! 306 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,274 Aah! 307 00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:50,325 Wojo, what's going On?! It's ringing. 308 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,399 Hello, hello! 309 00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:59,701 They put me on hold. 310 00:15:59,725 --> 00:16:01,303 Try another line! 311 00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,964 Get me a priest. 312 00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:10,401 Forget it, wojo. Get him a priest. 313 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:22,057 Good morning, son. Ah, Good morning, father. 314 00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:25,661 Or inspector or sir, Whichever you prefer. 315 00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:28,164 I sometimes get confused myself. 316 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,598 When I got this call, 317 00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,634 I just finished giving last Rites to a street-gang victim 318 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,102 In the south bronx. 319 00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:36,772 Oh, well, I'm sure there You were father clement. 320 00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,840 No, there I was "Pig." 321 00:16:38,864 --> 00:16:40,977 Ah. 322 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,778 Well, how's your Writing coming along? 323 00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:44,913 Not so good. 324 00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:46,848 I'm having a block, 325 00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:48,850 But I'm talking to a Shrink about it, so... 326 00:16:48,874 --> 00:16:50,386 Uh-huh. 327 00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:52,843 Oh, I see he's given you one Of these rorschach tests. 328 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:57,026 That's an interesting blotch. 329 00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,095 That's not a rorschach. 330 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,764 That's a... That's a Painting by a dying painter, 331 00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:04,132 And I bought it. 332 00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:06,902 Well, it's a very Worthy cause, I'm sure. 333 00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:08,766 Bless you. Thank you, father. 334 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,342 And bless you, too, my child, No matter how you sinned. 335 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:16,878 It was just a Domestic quarrel, sir. 336 00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:19,581 Oh, I trust there Will be no divorce. 337 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,083 It's an idea. 338 00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:23,419 Don't tell anyone Where you got it. 339 00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:28,991 Ah, good morning, wojo. 340 00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:30,759 Father clement, uh... 341 00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,903 The captain wants to Talk to you right away. 342 00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:36,097 You been attending Mass regularly? 343 00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:39,690 Well... That's my answer. 344 00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:47,176 You know I thought about Studying for the priesthood once? 345 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,611 What changed your mind? 346 00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:51,047 Couldn't stand being celibate. 347 00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,848 Well, how do you know? 348 00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:55,451 You don't have to be Until after you're ordained. 349 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:59,088 I practiced. 350 00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:01,857 For how long? Three and a half... 351 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,848 No, four hours. 352 00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:06,528 Is that all? 353 00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:08,619 Told ya I couldn't stand it. 354 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,842 Hello, norma. 355 00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:22,110 Cynthia's husband. 356 00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:24,280 Sarcasm doesn't Become you, norma. 357 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,081 How do you know what becomes me? 358 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,684 The only thing we have in Common is we're both chafed. 359 00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:30,085 Yeah? 360 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,921 And I've just had 12 Stitches and a tetanus shot. 361 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,055 You had it coming. 362 00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:35,458 You better face it, roy. 363 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:38,193 You cannot have two Women at the same time. 364 00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:40,896 Not if you want to Be sharp the next day. 365 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,432 Uh, sorry. 366 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:48,169 12th precinct. Sergeant dietrich. 367 00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:50,205 Uh, hold on a moment. 368 00:18:50,229 --> 00:18:52,073 Ron, it's for you. 369 00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:56,278 Mount sinai hospital... It's andrew catt's nurse. 370 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,280 Oh, I called earlier. 371 00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:02,017 Just wanted to see How the old boy was. 372 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:05,954 Sergeant harris here. 373 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,990 How's he doing? 374 00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:12,594 Great? 375 00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:15,264 Full recovery? 376 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:17,133 Oh, say, that's great. 377 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:18,534 Isn't that great? 378 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,469 That's just great. 379 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:23,372 That's just great. 380 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:27,243 Yeah, thanks a lot. 381 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:30,078 Look, cynthia and I were Both kids when I married her, 382 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:32,748 This gorgeous little Cheerleader with legs up to here 383 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,282 And those pom-poms. 384 00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:37,286 Roy, you loved her. 385 00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:38,654 Everybody did. 386 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:43,024 Of course, I didn't find That out in time to stop it. 387 00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:45,483 You want to sign this Complaint, mr. Griswold? 388 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,253 Will she be able to leave? 389 00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:54,202 Leave here or leave you? 390 00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:56,538 Here. 391 00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:57,962 No. 392 00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:10,719 Sorry. 393 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,921 Ah, that's okay. 394 00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:15,457 I'm a writer. I'm Used to rejection. 395 00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:17,982 I guess I'll have to Get used to it, too. 396 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,931 You know, captain, all These years in the department 397 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:25,701 Made me more a Policeman than a priest. 398 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,135 Talking down jumpers, 399 00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:29,738 Talking hoods into Releasing their hostages. 400 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,840 I've done most of my Sermons through a bullhorn. 401 00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,242 The other day, 402 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,744 A supplicant came up to me And said he wanted to confess. 403 00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:38,013 I told him he had the Right to remain silent. 404 00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:41,372 Father clement! 405 00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:46,744 Come here, clement! 406 00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:52,315 Come out here, clement! 407 00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:57,421 Come out, you old phoney! 408 00:21:00,692 --> 00:21:04,506 There you are, you White-collared hypocrite. 409 00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:06,441 My son, you asked for a priest? 410 00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,076 Watch it, mackerel-snapper! 411 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,277 You come any closer, 412 00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:11,580 I'll consume you in The flames of hell! 413 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,949 How can I help You, mr. Koepeknie? 414 00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:16,351 Help koepeknie?! 415 00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:18,220 He's mine! 416 00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:19,387 Beat it. 417 00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:21,556 You don't have any power here. 418 00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:25,093 Whoever you are, my Power is greater than yours. 419 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:26,962 You're full of prunes. 420 00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:28,196 That's not nice. 421 00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:30,465 Mealy-mouthed moron. 422 00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:33,068 He's making this very difficult. 423 00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:34,436 You're doing fine. 424 00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:35,871 I'm trying. 425 00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:44,179 My son, we all face the demon Of loneliness and anxiety. 426 00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:46,982 "Demon of loneliness!" 427 00:21:47,006 --> 00:21:48,917 Demon of hell! 428 00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:51,419 Pray that you leave us In the light of our faith. 429 00:21:51,443 --> 00:21:54,589 I'm not going anywhere, You flatulent old fraud! 430 00:21:54,613 --> 00:21:56,959 All right, hey. Now, you watch it. 431 00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:59,094 There's no need to get personal. 432 00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:01,797 Why don't you crawl Back to your confessional, 433 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:03,754 You pious pervert? 434 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,335 How would you like a Good smack in the mouth? 435 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,472 If you don't respect the man, 436 00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:13,341 You got to respect the Uniform, is that right? 437 00:22:13,365 --> 00:22:14,576 Sewer mouth! 438 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,479 Take your faith and shove it! 439 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:19,547 Enough! Aah! 440 00:22:19,571 --> 00:22:21,516 Demon or no demon, 441 00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:23,986 I'll tear out his tonsils! 442 00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,221 Open the cage! Do You think I'm kidding?! 443 00:22:26,245 --> 00:22:28,125 Hey! Take it easy. Take it easy. 444 00:22:32,051 --> 00:22:33,561 How could I do that? 445 00:22:33,585 --> 00:22:36,065 How could I raise My hands to another? 446 00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:43,571 I can't... I can't call Myself a priest. 447 00:22:43,595 --> 00:22:46,641 Hey, why not? Look, You did a hell of a job. 448 00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:48,176 Uh, barney? 449 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:49,812 Boys from bellevue Are downstairs. 450 00:22:49,836 --> 00:22:52,569 Uh, wojo, take him down. Yeah. 451 00:22:56,075 --> 00:22:58,953 Father, it would be really Helpful if you went with him. 452 00:22:58,977 --> 00:23:01,323 Thank you, I think I've Done quite enough already. 453 00:23:01,347 --> 00:23:03,258 But, father... Father? 454 00:23:03,282 --> 00:23:05,560 Are you a priest? 455 00:23:05,584 --> 00:23:07,262 Yes, and he's a good one, too. 456 00:23:07,286 --> 00:23:09,987 Father, could you Spare some of your time? 457 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:17,061 I need your help... Desperately. 458 00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:23,745 Okay, let's give It another whack. 459 00:23:23,769 --> 00:23:25,414 Oh, bless you, father. 460 00:23:25,438 --> 00:23:29,051 Okay, here we go, mr. Koepeknie. 461 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:31,854 Come on. 462 00:23:31,878 --> 00:23:34,011 See, it all star... 463 00:23:35,114 --> 00:23:40,162 It all started in The subway at... No. 464 00:23:40,186 --> 00:23:42,997 It all started Many years ago in... 465 00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:46,668 I don't know. 466 00:23:46,692 --> 00:23:49,171 I just get so confused. 467 00:23:49,195 --> 00:23:53,575 Forget it. It happens. 468 00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:55,978 It happens. 469 00:23:56,002 --> 00:23:58,602 Just start again, slowly. 470 00:24:07,379 --> 00:24:10,025 Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. 471 00:24:10,049 --> 00:24:12,160 Very well put. 472 00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:16,698 I guess we're all possessed By our own demons. 473 00:24:16,722 --> 00:24:22,070 And mine seems To be... Good taste. 474 00:24:22,094 --> 00:24:25,629 And I doubt that I'll ever get rid of it.